Glasses

The 1993 2000s are back and better, harder, faster, faster, harder, YES!! Ahem, the 1993 2000s are back and POLARIZED! Demand Respect and Authority™. In the courtroom. In the bedroom. In the bathroom. In your mugshot. In THE FUTURE.

Is that the pizza? Nah, just life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness. Freedom rings again with the Merika Pit Viper 2000s. Side effects may include increased lite beer consumption, unprecedented barbecue knowledge, and calling everybody “brother." Now with an ANSI Z87+ safety rating, roomier fit, and redesigned ear and nose pieces. Ben Franklin would be proud.

Wait? Hahaha we made these?! I don’t remember that. They have a polarized lens, roomier fit, rubberized black frame, and redesigned ear and nose pieces?! Damn, we did a good job. Someone give me a raise.